Get to know Grand Rapids (and the world)

Harrietta Conversations

On Sunday, I was able to spend some quality time with some residents of Harrietta, Mich., or the smallest village in Michigan.

My sister-in-law’s cousin is dating a guy from the area, and her dad had a cookout with some of the relatives. During the cookout, a neighbor of the cabin was summoned and walked over with his tiny dog, Baby.

His introduction was brief, but his jokes were quick and rehearsed.

His first was including his dog and why pets are better than kids, as my niece, also affectionately called Baby, was running around.

Five Ways Pets are Better than Children

  1. They come when they’re called
  2. It costs less to feed them
  3. They don’t complain
  4. You don’t have to send them to college
  5. If they get pregnant you can sell their kids

“Love is worth a Grand; Divorce is worth several Grand.”

“There are three rings in a marriage: engagement ring, wedding ring and the suffering.”

His reason for divorce, “Religious differences, she was God.”

He was on a CB radio the other night with a truck driver in Alabama. The driver was complaining about how he was at Walmart and his wife caught him trying to buy an 18-pack of Miller Lite. “Why do you need that? You have a case at home?” she said.

“But it’s 18 for $10, why do you need all that?” he said, pointing to lotions and makeup.

“It makes me look beautiful,” she said.

“What do you think the beer does?” he said.

There were more, but I’m not sure I could handle writing them. It’s a different world up in Harrietta, just two hours away from Grand Rapids.

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